Oh my! Oh me! What if Sally were a tree?
Cut her open, how many rings would there be?
Couldn’t be more than twenty-two or twenty-three.
Oh my! Oh me! She’s only thirty!
***
I tra-la-la with Sally all day long
To tra-la-la with Sally never feels wrong
We’ll tra-la-la in bed and sing our tra-la song
Or tra-la-la out side with our very favorite bong
To tra-la-la with Sally all day long
Is a tra-la-la to tra-la-la my Sally song!
***
If you nonsense me, then I will nonsense you
Did you never learn not to nonsense a Jew?
But I can see your nonsense is truer than true.
Nonsense in our nonsense club for the chose few!
***
Silly Sally gave her puppy cash to buy some bread.
Otis groaned and thought at once, “I’ll buy some steak instead.”
***
I gave Sally my string cheese.
Doodle-AY-doo! Doodle-AY-doo!
It was my lastest string cheese.
Doodle-AY-doo! Doodle-AY-doo!
I wanted her to have it.
Doodle-AY-doo! It’s true!
Sal gave me her smiley sweet
Doodle-AY-doo! Doodle-AY-doo!
She offered up her smiley sweet
Doodle-AY-doo! Doodle-AY-doo!
And it brightened up my spring.
Doodle-AY-doo! It’s true!
***
My little bird was barely years old when a thought ran through her head:
“Perhaps it would be ever so bold to dye my lovely hair red!
It’ll make me stick out but not very much when I walk through the streets of the cities.
As I would rather them look at my hair than catch their eyes on my titties.”
***
If you giggle high or if you giggle low
Never do forget the name of the game.
Giggle giggle please don’t do it for show
Or else you never will achieve that official giggle fame.
***
A cowboy and a cowgirl were dancin’ through the night
When the cowboy saw a thing of a terrible fright.
The cowgirl clenched her fists and prepared for a fight.
It was just a tiny mouse but cowboy’s hair had turned white!
***
When Sally goes around making scary faces
She tries to find the people in all the scary places
Cuz maybe scary spooky within the scary place
Will make the scary people have a laughy, happy face.
***
With my Sally ride the ferry
Ha ha ha ha ha
With my Sally ride the lorry
Ha ha ha ha ha
If I didn’t travel with Sally
Ha ha ha ha ha
I sure would be fucking sorry
Ha ha ha ha… aw
***
Every time I’ve seen her sad, I don’t know what to do
I’ll tell a joke or sing a song or try a magic trick
But every time I’ve seen her sad, I see her sneaking off
I run to her room and peek when I can to see her “fucking stick”
I hear her pant and moan and warble, through the open door
And whatever bad mood there has ended rather quick.
***
When Sally and I are dancing on air
It’s the only time when it’s all truly fair
Maybe tonight she’ll run her hands through my hair
The only time ever I don’t have a care
***
Chicky and me will fuck fuck fuck fuck
If we have any luck luck luck luck
I wonder if she can see see see see
If she’ll spend her life with me me me me
If she won’t I will cry cry cry cry
But tonight together we’ll lie lie lie lie
***
Sally Belle Sally Belle
Perhaps we’ll take a trip
Sally Belle Sally Belle
One that makes us flip
Sally Belle Sally Belle
Please take your pills
Sally Belle Sally Belle
So you don’t get ill
Sally Belle Sally Belle
We will stay afloat
Sally Belle Sally Belle
On this pirate’s boat
Sally Belle Sally Belle
You treasure oh, so pretty
Sally Belle Sally Belle
Because it’s really me!
Sally Belle Sally Belle
Hee hee hee
***
Smokin’ a J in the park today
Will bring out the lavenders and greens.
That fat guy there just took off his shirt
For real, that’s fucking obscene.
He’s got real big boobs and long greasy hair
But he’s balding on top with this ungodly glare
Let’s go home and listen to Ween…
(Cuz that dude was so gross, but the music we’ll toast-
then we’ll fuck just like we were teens).
***
When ever I’m feeling sick with a frown
I just think of Sally, my sweet, wash me down.
***
I wanna wake and bake with you
Froo froo froo
Make the day all fresh and new
Froo froo froo
And I’ll squeeze you tight in my arms
Froo froo froo
And seduce you with my charms!
Froo froo Oo!
***
I’ll only get fatter, older, louder
I hope you’re okay with that.
I’ll only dance slower, weirder, stranger
And I’ll probably turn into a cat.
But as long as you’re near hugging, kissing
I know I will be okay
Cuz you’re so amazing, sweeter, cuter
That will never fade away.
***
Come to the island
Come to my reef
We’ll swim with fishies
Collect all the keef
Change our whole outlook
A few of our beliefs
We’ll enjoy the time spent
No matter how brief
***
Walk along, walk along Sally Pie
For you in this world there’s only one guy
Luckily it’s me! Oh me! Oh my!
If you grab my hand tightly, we’ll take off and fly.
***
Hug me
Take me
Squeeze me
Wake me
Kiss me
Love me
Kiss below me
Stand above me
Forever and longer is how it will be
Marry me, hold me, my perfect Sally
***
What do you coo when you run out of grass?
What kinda trip are you on?
Oh, well I think that sounds kinda pricey.
I’m just gonna pick it from my neighbor’s lawn.
***
Penguin one Penguin two
Penguin three, four, five.
Penguin six Penguin seven
Penguins feel alive
Penguin eight Penguin nine
Penguin ten and on
Sing with me this penguin song!
***
If you ask a penguin what it’s worth
He’ll give you a smoocher on your date of birth
Waddle, waddle, waddle
Mraw, mraw, mraw
Kissy, Kissy, Kissy, Kissy
Mer Mer Mer
***
We don’t play those other guy’s games.
We could never be that lame.
***
A wrinkle crinkle roop doop
I am out of weed
A wrinkle crinkle roop doop
But it ain’t what I need
A wrinkle crinkle roop doop
All I need in this world
A wrinkle crinkle roop doop
Is my sweet and lovely girl
***
Little Bird fly in my arms
I will treat you like gold.
Little Bird nesting in my tree
Until we’re frail and old.
***
Scrapers together
We’re lazy together
And lay on our backs all the time.
Naked together
Bedding together
For us not to fuck is a crime.
***
Marry me love in a Cold Mountain voice
You hear me wistfully croaking.
Marry me sweet, it’s our only choice
And you think I’m only joking.
***
Bucka bucka buck buck buck
A bucka buck buck buck.
Bucka bucka buck buck buck
A bucka buck buck hooo
Buck buck buck buck buck buck
Buck bucka buck buck buck
Bucka I love you.
“I love your face and your heart. Your patience and your farts. Your smile and your kiss. You chat with me while you piss. I love that you take time to uncover all my mud and slime just to make us as perfect as perfect can be. Even when I repeat you’ll listen- fuck even if I’m pissin’! You don’t get sick of my stupid shit even when I hear you chompin’ at the bit. I drone and drone and drone but I can cuz I know I’m not alone. You treat me like a true king. It’s only a matter of time until we share those rings. I love you [SEA PHOENIX].”
-November 15, 2009, 2:17 PM
“Hung out with people that really love me and spoke to kind people who are patient with me today. I’m golden. Lost on Wakimoa. I’m a sane person who had an incredible experience and I need to truly focus on me. It’s time for me- I’m a good person and I deserve to be good to myself and not live under anyone’s thumb no matter how much it may hurt them. Now is for me. And us because you’re all I want. My queen and treasure. My porkchop and applesauce. I only want us. We’re so loving and exciting. Everything on the west is old hat. I wanna be jitterbuggin’ with flappers!”
-November 12, 2009, 9:20 PM
“Baby I need to fuck you. You’re so sexy and kinky. I want to see every nasty side of you. I want to see you lose yourself and say things I never think you’d say.”
-August 5, 2009, 5:38 PM
“Make sweet fuck to me.”
-October 25, 4:01 PM
“Whisper all sorts of inappropriate things in your ear. I can be older than you in bed. So sexy.”
-October 17, 2009, 11:29 PM
“Well we both know we feel exactly the same way so why should we feel it at all? I’m not leaving you. I want to marry you. I am getting hard right now thinking about us getting married. I’m not even kidding. You’re my wife and I want you to feel I’m your husband.”
-October 1, 2009, 1:01 AM
“You’re my girl. My best friend. My queen.”
-August 9, 2009, 9:49 PM
“Like livin’ in a treehouse! Tarzan and Jane. Fucking in the sweaty jungle… Or Han and Leia fucking in that llama on Hoth perfect for each other.”
-August 14, 2009, 3:47 AM
“I just bought this because I’m easily entertained but I still feel the title is insulting me.”
-July, 16, 2009 12:08 PM
“I’m right there with you. This is awesome- all Tom wants to do is have the opportunity to do nothing while at times pursuing a career as a pirate… Just like us.”
-April 19, 2009 12:03PM
