“I love your face and your heart. Your patience and your farts. Your smile and your kiss. You chat with me while you piss. I love that you take time to uncover all my mud and slime just to make us as perfect as perfect can be. Even when I repeat you’ll listen- fuck even if I’m pissin’! You don’t get sick of my stupid shit even when I hear you chompin’ at the bit. I drone and drone and drone but I can cuz I know I’m not alone. You treat me like a true king. It’s only a matter of time until we share those rings. I love you [SEA PHOENIX].”

-November 15, 2009, 2:17 PM

“Hung out with people that really love me and spoke to kind people who are patient with me today. I’m golden. Lost on Wakimoa. I’m a sane person who had an incredible experience and I need to truly focus on me. It’s time for me- I’m a good person and I deserve to be good to myself and not live under anyone’s thumb no matter how much it may hurt them. Now is for me. And us because you’re all I want. My queen and treasure. My porkchop and applesauce. I only want us. We’re so loving and exciting. Everything on the west is old hat. I wanna be jitterbuggin’ with flappers!”

-November 12, 2009, 9:20 PM

“Baby I need to fuck you. You’re so sexy and kinky. I want to see every nasty side of you. I want to see you lose yourself and say things I never think you’d say.”

-August 5, 2009, 5:38 PM

“Make sweet fuck to me.”

-October 25, 4:01 PM

“Whisper all sorts of inappropriate things in your ear. I can be older than you in bed. So sexy.”

-October 17, 2009, 11:29 PM

“Well we both know we feel exactly the same way so why should we feel it at all? I’m not leaving you. I want to marry you. I am getting hard right now thinking about us getting married. I’m not even kidding. You’re my wife and I want you to feel I’m your husband.”

-October 1, 2009, 1:01 AM

“You’re my girl. My best friend. My queen.”

-August 9, 2009, 9:49 PM

“Like livin’ in a treehouse! Tarzan and Jane. Fucking in the sweaty jungle… Or Han and Leia fucking in that llama on Hoth perfect for each other.”

-August 14, 2009, 3:47 AM

“I just bought this because I’m easily entertained but I still feel the title is insulting me.”

-July, 16, 2009 12:08 PM

“I’m right there with you. This is awesome- all Tom wants to do is have the opportunity to do nothing while at times pursuing a career as a pirate… Just like us.”

-April 19, 2009 12:03PM